03 Sep Care of a Care Giver

Who is a care giver?  Someone who devotes a large portion of time and energy, supporting someone in physical or emotional need, be it an invalid family member, a disabled child, a friend in crisis etc.  The emotional or physical needs of the attendant, be it a family member, volunteer or staff, is often neglected.

In my personal experience, supporting and looking after a sick husband, I realized that if I did not take care of myself, if I did not release the stress, that not only was he in deep trouble, but we would both be in crisis.

So what can the care provider do to keep themselves healthy?  These are but some suggestions taken from my own personal journey with my late husband.

• Take regular time for relaxation, prayer, or meditation. This helps one get in touch with what is going on within.  I found that our faith and practices helped both of us come to a place of trust, peace and acceptance of whatever the outcome would be.
  Relaxing music can be of great comfort.
• Implement a plan to ensure physical release of tension and stress by having a program in place for regular exercise or walks, minimum of three times per week.  This could be accomplished by asking for outside assistance from family or friends, if respite if required.
• Find out what programs are available to assist you. Remember, it is the squeaky wheel that gets greased. Identify and ask for what you need.
  Express your feelings. Feelings buried and stuffed down can disrupt immune system function.  A trusted friend can assist you in getting in touch with your inner most feelings and thoughts.  Journaling can also provide expression and insight into what you are experiencing.
• There are some very practical things to do such as eating nutritious foods and drinking enough water.  This will help keep up your strength.  Care giving is physically and emotionally draining!
• Remember to breathe deeply throughout the day. When stressed we often revert to shallow breathing. Deep breathing helps expel toxins from the body.

One of the greatest gifts that can be offered a care provider is a listening ear and heart; just being present and respecting the trust afforded you when someone entrusts their inner most thoughts, feelings and experiences.  Offering to help with errands, dropping off a casserole, assisting with some yard or house work, taking children on an outing, stopping by for a cup of tea, visiting and or sitting with the patient to give the care provider a break are all wonderful, tangible ways in which offer support.

When my husband was ill I did not know of the wonderful therapies available to help reduce my stress and anxiety. Today I offer Biofeedback therapy, a wonderful tool for caregivers as well as the person requiring care, promoting and supporting well being on all levels.